Chick hits on Ponce, Boyfriend hits on her face

SAP HERE…

Super Ponce Why are dudes so cool? Because they hit their women. It’s fun for everybody!  Who doesn’t like to see some guy (obviously small in the weiner department) punch his drunken, abuse enabling, girlfriend in the face?  Ponce, take it away…

PONCE HERE…

It’s true. I was sitting at the bar and this crazy, drunk, kinda fat a little, female lady sat down next to me.  Her name was Carmen and she was crazy nuts.  She flirted with me and she pulled me into her arms and into her belly and I stared at her boobies.  And then she became Dennis Hopper from Blue Velvet and said, “MOMMY… MOMMY…Mommy won’t be mean to you. I’m never mean.”  And I liked it ’cause I saw her boobies and she was really flirting with me a lot.  Then she said, “It’s gonna be okay… it’s gonna be okay,” and I had no idea what she was talking about but I still saw her boobs and liked the flirting.  She gave me a kiss on the cheek. Then I gave her a kiss on the cheek and then this big jackass guy came up to me and said, “She has a boyfriend, man!”  And it was him.  He was really pissed and I was scared out of my pants and almost shit myself.  Then he yelled at her and went to the bathroom but then he turned around and punched her in the face.  Then bro made me go stand behind him with our friends and the guy got kicked out.  He was a really big asshole guy.  Take it away, bro…

SAP AGAIN…

All I could think about when the guy came up to Ponce and yelled, “She has a boyfriend, man!” in his face was… “I might actually kill this guy if he touches Ponce.”

Then I realized I would probably have to wait in line.  There were about 6 of our friends between me and the asshole guy.  Aside form them, there was a very big crowd of NEW FANS of Ponce who we didn’t know before we went into the bar, but they knew Ponce from the shows we do and a Ponceman Posse was born.  When the guy walked away I could tell that this happens with him and his girlfriend all the time.  That’s when he turned around and punched her in the face.  He bolted for the bathroom followed closely by Tim, the uber-cool doorman who led the pouty prick out the bar.

Once of the girls in Ponce’s new posse tried to comfort the girl and said, “Sweetie, you don’t need to be with a guy that hits you.”  The freshly punched girlfriend looked at her and screamed, “Fuck you!  Who the fuck do you think you are!?!  You don’t know me, bitch!” and was then led out of the bar by Tim.  She got in the car with her fistful of kisses dick-brain and they sped off… hopefully driving off a cliff and dying in a fireball of their sweet punchy love.

Lessons learned: Ponce is a chick magnet (duh), Chicks who let dudes punch them are crazy (double duh), and if anyone dares to mess with my brother they will most likely be torn apart within seconds.

It’s the old saying, a friend is someone who helps you move… A real friend is someone that helps you move a body.

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6 thoughts on “Chick hits on Ponce, Boyfriend hits on her face

  1. Thats the koolest thing i’ve heard all month! I wanna party with you guys and join the ponce posse! I have a friend who got in a fight at a bar a couple months ago, and he was on top of the other dude beating him up all bad, then a cop came in and tazed him and he pissed his pants, and the guy he was fighting got soaked in his pee. haha.

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