Happy New Year

Ponce here…

Me an bro really love the holidays. I love them so much and love to see my family and my friends. This is our New Years video we made for everyone out there our friends and fans and we want everybody to rock on! And I am dead sexy in this video so pass it on.

SAP here…

Dead Sexy indeed. We love making these flicks and we really do appreciate everybody out there who supports us. This has been a tough year but we got through it and things, as the saying goes, are looking up. we will keep making with the fun, the funny, the… at times… touching (emotionally you pervert), and continue to fight the good fight.

Happy New Year to everyone.

Tshirts, Hoodies, and more: www.ponceman.com

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Friday Film Fantasy: AVATARD

SAP here…

We saw Avatar last night. My immediate twitter post that followed was:

“Just saw Avatar… can’t help feeling sorry for the Na’vi males. Even after they mate they have to walk around 24/7 with blue-balls.”

Ponce and I would love to spoof it. We’d also love a TV show of our own so we could afford to do that, but alas, no such deals have been closed. Shooting all this stuff ourselves gets pricey and spoofing a 230 million dollar budget film is a little out of our pocket book range, especially during the holidays when you have presents to buy and bills to pay.

With that in mind we offer our low-budget Poster Pitch, which hopefully will make someone out there say, “Hey Perry Brothers, I love your stuff. Saw the Avatard Poster and think there’s a good spoof to be made there. Here’s some dough, go make a whole feature film!” Tis Christmas, tis the season to wish for wonderful things.

Not holding our breath… though Ponce held his a little to make his skin turn this nice hue of blue.

O XMAS TXT – an office friendly Christmas Song


Who says we can’t be office friendly? This one is a sentiment we think just about everybody can enjoy. Though we are guessing the younger ones, like 10 and under, have probably only gotten e-cards and txt holiday wishes for most of their lives. We do miss the real christmas cards.

Enjoy! and Happy every celebration you wanna roll with day!

Christmas is the Spirit, Ponce FTW

"Christmas is the Spirit" Me and Quernzy

Ponce here…

I just wanna say to everybody out there that it’s Christmas time and it means a lot to me. I love Christmas. I love presents. I love eating all the good food. And I love being together with my good family and we all get along. Me and bro are back in Louisiana our hometown Lafayette with the whole family and I love everyone.

I’m a lucky guy and I get all the ladies. I’m still a virgin but the ladies love me and they think I’m adorable and charming. I learned how to be charming from my father and my brother.

Me and Fahver (a.k.a Father) "He used to be an alcoholic but he’s cool now."

Father is a good man. The nicest man on the planet. He used to be an alcoholic but he’s cool now. That was a long time ago. He looks like Santa Claus now and he is Santa to me and everybody in the family. I love watching Sanford and Son with him because he reminds me of Fred. And I’m Lamont. And Mama is Esther. I love that show and sometime I watch it with father and we laugh so hard till we shit our pants. That’s a good laugh to have.

And I love my mama. I used to suckle her teets. And she took care of me when the doctor told her I should be put in an institution because I have Down Syndrome. That doctor can kiss my ass. He said I wouldn’t be worth anything to society but he was wrong and now he’s dead. So I win. Ponce FTW. And my mama never gave up on me and now I am getting smarter everyday. And my mama always looks out for me.

Me and my Mama "I used to suckle her teets."

Mema my grandmother is a really cool lady. She was in my Retarded Policeman episode called GILF and she was hilarious in it.  Love my Mema. She makes me laugh and it’s good to get along with her ‘cause Mema’s awesome.  She always took me to breakfast a lot when I was growing up and I love that. We would eat at Mel’s Diner and I always had steak and eggs there and coffee and she had good black coffee and English muffin. That’s some good Mema memories.

Me and Mema " She makes me laugh..."

Me and Stah (a.k.a. Sistah a.k.a. Sister) "She’s pregnant, and I’m happy about that."

Then there’s Stah. I love my sistah. She’s like a mama to me, and she also buys me good stuff too. She’s pregnant, and I’m happy about that. It’s a girl! And her name’s gonna be Mya, pronounced My-uhh. Kinda retarded, the name, but I will love that baby. Can’t wait till it comes out, and I hope she’ll be cool and I hope to get along with her too, like I do with Kaylyn and Rain my nieces. And I will tickle Mya’s armpits when she gets bigger. And I hope she’ll like it when I blow on her belly and make a Zerbert. It’ll tickle her and she’ll laugh. I love my Stah so much, no matter what, she’ll always be the best Stah. She’s cool like Molly Shannon from the movie Super Star– but Stah’s movie would be called SUPA STAH! And she’d put her hands in her armpits and smell it and put her arms up and say “I’m Supa Stah! And I will kick everyone’s ass if they fuck with me!”

My Bro-in-law " He’s the first guy Stah’s in love with that we all like."

My bro-in-law is married to Stah. He’s a cool guy and we all love him. He’s the first guy Stah’s in love with that we all like. And he makes us laugh- he looks like Ashton Kutcher. Everytime I see him I say “you just got PUNK’D motha fucka!” I love that show, but I love my bro-in-law more, he’s a cool guy. And he’s new to our family, so he’s a Perry now! I’m sure he loves that. His last name is Richard (pronounced Ree-shard). I always say to him he’s a Richard of a Retard!

Kaylyn, my niece, is Stah’s daughter. I wrote a good poem about her called ‘Kaylyn, My Niece’ and made it into a video, so click it to watch. I love my Kaylyn so much. She makes me laugh, and I tickle her armpits. It drives her crazy. She’s a cheerleader. I watched her cheer the other night and I thought she was awesome! I wish I could be a cheerleader like that. She also plays piano, she’s really good at it too. She also has a youtube series called Bipolar Sally. She’s crazy. Click on that too! It’s really hilarious. My favorite one is “jumping on the bed!” My other favorite is a prank call. I love my Kaylyn, and she’s also pretty. She’s gettin’ so big like an adult!

Kaylyn "I tickle her armpits." and Rain "She makes me happy."

And Rain (Rainderrr) is here for the first time and I am really happy about that. She flew out here from California to spend Christmas with us. I can’t wait to have some good potatoes that she’s gonna cook us- She calls them ‘Rain’s Amazing Potatoes’ and I hope it’s gonna be amazing. I haven’t seen her since the summer, and we had coffee at Psychobabble with Dirty Jenny and Teresa. I love my Rain so much. She makes me happy and I will always love her even when I tickle her armpits cuz I know it drives her crazy – but she loves it! I’m just an armpit guy. After Christmas, bro and Rain and I are flying back to California to hang out with her two mamas, Michelle and Veronika. I’m very excited. I can’t wait to take them all to Yogurtland and Pho-21.

Me and bro (a.k.a. my Bitch) "We will always be brothers like Rain Man and Twins."

And then there’s bro. He makes me laugh. Sometimes we fight but we fight like brothers. He’s concerned about me a lot and protects me. I think he’s a cool guy. He’s the best bro ever. We are the best. We will always be brothers like Rain Man and Twins. I love my bro forever and ever and he helps me keep all my stuff neat and buys me cool clothes and DVDs and I’m happy about that. And we write some very good TV shows and movies and videos together a good team we are.  And he also told me to go dance with some hot ladies the other night at the bar and I did and I got a smooch from the really sexy one. So anyway, that’s what I have to say about my bro. xoxo

Our family had some hard times and we still do but we always get through all the bad stuff and stay together forever.

If you ever have a bad time with your family don’t ever give up on them. Everybody can change even if they are old or young or whatever. And Christmas is a good time of the year for family. Christmas is the spirit and it only happens every year. So can‘t wait for new years.

So here’s Christmas is the Spirit the song I wrote with bro. I wrote most of the lyrics and bro helped and he wrote the music and then Dirty Jenny played guitar on it. Bro plays the other instruments and my sweet Quernzy sings it. I almost fell asleep when we made this video because I was being a lazy bum and didn’t get too much sleep that night before so I almost blew it. But I finally did it and did a funny jolly good elf.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Perry Christmas everybody.

Rock on – Ponce

Tshirts, Hoodies and More… FINALLY!

 

DIRTY PONCEY

Ponce here…

We worked our butts off and finally got the Tshirt store working. Me and bro did a lot of designs and got some cool stuff like buttons and stickers and other stuff and I hope you guys like all of it.

My favorite tshirt is PONCHE’ and also Dirty Poncey. And I love the stickers too. I hope everybody digs it cause it’s groovy.

So go check it out and rock on – Ponce

PONCHE' is my favorite - Ponce

SAP here…

First off, I would just like to make something very clear to all the Retarded Policeman fans out there. And also clear for people who are still on the fence as to why we are no longer making episodes with Greg Benson/mediocrefilms.

  • Mediocrefilms has sold THOUSANDS of dollars worth of RETARDED POLICEMAN merchandise.
  • Ponce IS the Retarded Policeman. The series was created FOR HIM, regardless of what Greg Benson has decided to claim nearly 70 million views later.
  • I, SAP, designed ALL THE T-SHIRTS, BUTTONS, STICKERS that he continues to sell.
  • Greg Benson has paid us NOTHING for any RP merchandise sold (including DVD)

I busted my ass designing that Retarded Policeman merchandise. Including setting up the photo shoot that ended up being the artwork for DVD… which we have also received ZERO compensation for, and he has sold thousands of dollars worth of those as well.

We were supposed to split everything 50/50.

I hope this paints a clearer picture of why we cannot continue to work under those circumstances with those kinds of business practices as standard of operations.

SOUR GRAPES ASIDE, MOVING ON, WE NOW LAND….. HERE:

THE PERRY BROTHERS ABNORMAL COMEDY EMPORIUM

As Ponce said, we finally got our own Tshirts, buttons, stickers and other goodies made and are finally launching our store. Again, much ass was busted designing these little wonders and Ponce was a great help in the whole process too. We made everything very personal and fun.

Also, we decided to give FREE signed postcards with every order. That’s something we plan on doing as long as we are alive and kicking. We built this store for the fans, and we hope you guys like everything we have made for you. It is 100% our blood, sweat, and tears in every item. We have kept the prices low and will continue to keep them that way.

So please, check out all the goodies, if you like something, go for it. Pass it on to your friends and spread the Perry Brother love around the world.

-SAP

RELATED POST: Filling in (a few of) the Blanks about Retarded Policeman

H Magazine Perry Brothers Interview

Support your local Perry Brother

H Magazine is a very cool art-filled, visually stunning publication. They do great layouts that don’t feel like the normal shove-a-shitload-of-ads-down-your-already-overstuffed-with-other-shitloads-of-ads throats.

Tobias Jelinek interviewed us and did a really cool layout of the interview. It has some handwritten Q&A, actual ol’ skool Polaroids, and some good little insights into the minds of Ponceman and the SAP. It’s in the Detour Journal column.

H Magazine is at Barnes & Noble, Skylight Books (Los Feliz) and tons of other newstands. If you can’t find it at your favorite newstand, tell those mofos to wake the Fus=zzle up and order it… especially the edition with Mila Kunis on the cover, that’s the one that has the extra chromosome hidden inside. The extra chromosome is the one with all the funny in it.

I Lost My Damn Notebook

photo by eric curtis http://www.ericcurtisphoto.com/

Ponce here…

Me Bro And Dana Had Dinner at Pete’s. it’s a really cool place. They have a good Bar and it’s a good place to eat. When we finished dinner we went back to our loft. I just realized I forgot my Notebook and i was a dumbass. I forgot it and i know it was a mistake. Everybody makes mistakes sometimes. I will try and remember next time don’t leave thing’s behind like the ones you love the most like Cell Phone’s, Pagers, Laptops, Bags, and especially your Notebook. It’s only important to me but no reason to get mad. I will remember next time don’t leave anything behind it’s not a good thing and I went back to Pete’s today to see if they had it and they didn’t. Somebody must have stile it or thrown it away. Sucks. But next time I will remember it.