So the Clash of the Titans new trailer looks like a made for TV Sci-Fi channel movie. They spent $70,000,000 on it. Looks like it cost about $100,000.
Now you’d think I would be mad at Hollywood for raping itself and remaking/re-imagining all the movies it already owns for what is clearly motivated purely by profit. It’s the same reason I can’t fucking stand P Diddy. His “Every Breath You Take” was a hit… no shit. It was already a hit. Made by the Police. It’s a no brainer to churn out a different version of the same shit and have it be successful. I wouldn’t mind it so much if the studios and the P Diddys of the world would put a little effort into it to at least look like they were trying to make something good. But they don’t, and the CGI in the new Clash of the Titans trailer is screaming proof of this.
I am not mad at the studios. I AM, however, fucking pissed off at the movie going public for continually paying to see this crap. Everyone knows the Charlie’s Angels movies suck ass. But people still paid to see them. Everyone knew the re-imagining of Friday the 13th was gonna suck a turd in hell, and it did, and people still paid to see it. And I know that the masses will once again rise up and pay their ever rising ticket price to see the new Clash of the Titans.And it WILL suck.
There is something magical about the original COTT. Maybe it’s the chick-like hotness of Harry Hamlin, or Sir Lawrence Olivier slumming it in a 1981 B-movie, or the hope of seeing a glimpse of a Cassiopeioa titty. YES, Ray Harryhausen’s stop motion animation is 90% of the ooh in the COTT’s ooh lah lah.
The thing is, creating the world in the 1981 Clash of the Titans took effort. The Kracken was the most badass thing I had ever seen, regardless of whether or not I knew it was only 2 foot high in real life. The thing is… it EXISTED in real life. The CGI has gone crazy lazy and the COTT new-redo-poopoo is a big crappy testament to this. The Kracken is a ripoff of the one in the Pirates of the Carribean movie. Already no surprise there. Just a way to market it better. If they like the Kracken in Pirates let’s put it in COTT to get those people’s butt’s back in the seats.
Why does Hollywood continue to churn out shit they already own? Yes, part of the reason is because they already own it. They don’t need to pay for anything new. But the only reason that matters, the main reason, is because people keep paying to see the shit.
If you are one of the movie goers who continually shells out 10 bucks a pop to see remakes/re-imaginings of Hollywood classics then HURRY NOW! Send me 10 bucks and I will send you a video of the dump I took last night. It’s pretty much the same as the dump I took the night before and the night before that so you better ACT NOW!
Shame on you, you movie goer. Demand better movies by refusing to pay for the shitty ones.
FYI – Ponce can’t wait to see the new COTT. He has a hard on for crappy movies. But he’s learned to wait till they hit cable.