I Vomit This Blog From My Soul

SAP here…

So the Clash of the Titans new trailer looks like a made for TV Sci-Fi channel movie. They spent $70,000,000 on it. Looks like it cost about $100,000.

Now you’d think I would be mad at Hollywood for raping itself and remaking/re-imagining all the movies it already owns for what is clearly motivated purely by profit. It’s the same reason I can’t fucking stand P Diddy. His “Every Breath You Take” was a hit… no shit. It was already a hit. Made by the Police. It’s a no brainer to churn out a different version of the same shit and have it be successful. I wouldn’t mind it so much if the studios and the P Diddys of the world would put a little effort into it to at least look like they were trying to make something good. But they don’t, and the CGI in the new Clash of the Titans trailer is screaming proof of this.

I am not mad at the studios. I AM, however, fucking pissed off at the movie going public for continually paying to see this crap. Everyone knows the Charlie’s Angels movies suck ass. But people still paid to see them. Everyone knew the re-imagining of Friday the 13th was gonna suck a turd in hell, and it did, and people still paid to see it. And I know that the masses will once again rise up and pay their ever rising ticket price to see the new Clash of the Titans.And it WILL suck.

There is something magical about the original COTT. Maybe it’s the chick-like hotness of Harry Hamlin, or Sir Lawrence Olivier slumming it in a 1981 B-movie, or the hope of seeing a glimpse of a Cassiopeioa titty. YES, Ray Harryhausen’s stop motion animation is 90% of the ooh in the COTT’s ooh lah lah.

The thing is, creating the world in the 1981 Clash of the Titans took effort. The Kracken was the most badass thing I had ever seen, regardless of whether or not I knew it was only 2 foot high in real life. The thing is… it EXISTED in real life. The CGI has gone crazy lazy and the COTT new-redo-poopoo is a big crappy testament to this. The Kracken is a ripoff of the one in the Pirates of the Carribean movie. Already no surprise there. Just a way to market it better. If they like the Kracken in Pirates let’s put it in COTT to get those people’s butt’s back in the seats.

Pirates of the Kracken-ribbean

The New Kracked out Kracken - Familiar mouth

The New Kracked out Kracken

Why does Hollywood continue to churn out shit they already own? Yes, part of the reason is because they already own it. They don’t need to pay for anything new. But the only reason that matters, the main reason, is because people keep paying to see the shit.

If you are one of the movie goers who continually shells out 10 bucks a pop to see remakes/re-imaginings of Hollywood classics then HURRY NOW! Send me 10 bucks and I will send you a video of the dump I took last night. It’s pretty much the same as the dump I took the night before and the night before that so you better ACT NOW!

Shame on you, you movie goer. Demand better movies by refusing to pay for the shitty ones.

FYI – Ponce can’t wait to see the new COTT. He has a hard on for crappy movies. But he’s learned to wait till they hit cable.

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One thought on “I Vomit This Blog From My Soul

  1. I completely agree with you SAP. I’m getting tired of the new crap movies that keep coming out these days.

    I think you forgot something though – Hollywood just doesn’t take risks anymore. Like you said, they keep remaking/re imagining the same bull they already own – and they turn down possibly good film ideas because it takes too many risks. It may be unfamiliar, something new for a change, and they can’t guarantee a profit. It’s kind of sad really…Most of the stuff coming out in wide-release in theatres has no soul or heart put into. It’s not even an art form anymore. I’m sure there are possibly some films that try, but I’m sure most people haven’t heard of them. I think a lot of the movie-going public just doesn’t know whats good anymore. They’re attracted to big flashy CGI effects and explosions. It doesn’t seem to be about the story or the characters anymore, which is kind of sad.

    I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one who doesn’t think the new Clash of the Titans looks stupid. I kind of liked the old one…it kind of fits into that “its so bad it’s awesome” category.

    I’m hoping that in the next few years that the movies being churned out have a bit more substance rather than flash. I can’t afford to see crappy movies in theatres anymore haha.

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