Thoughts on the Hand-Face Douche

Ponce here…

I just wanna say the hand-face guy was a real asshole and he kinda freaked me out a little. I didn’t understand what was going on and he kept asking me “Is that your brother? Is that your brother?” and he was really weird. I’m okay and he didn’t ruin my birthday but it was really weird while he was there. I don’t understand sometimes when people act like that but bro takes care of me and he’s got my back and I got his back. Bros before Hos and we take care of each other so to the people out there, rock on and peace out.

– Ponce

SAP here…

For those who don’t know, some guy injected himself into our lives on Ponce’s birthday and it was one of the more annoying interactions we’ve had with a stranger stepping in to… well, that’s just it. None of us who were there actually know what he was really trying to do.

I’ll just go bounce a few thoughts off of this comment DontEatTheFish73 made on the video.

DontEatTheFish73 i hate to defend this guy, but i can kind of see his concern. down syndrome is a disability which has a different severity for each individual, so not knowing who ponce is and how it affects him, i think this guy was just expressing concern because he didn’t want to see ponce harassed for it. granted this guy probably took it too far, and wasn’t very intelligent about it, i think his intentions were good. he definitely could have handled it better and minded his own business though.

I gotta say, with all the conviction in my heart, that I wish I could understand where Hand-Face was coming from. I tried to edit it so you could see the build up, but there was no buildup. It was me and Ponce being filmed by Windsock looking at all his birthday gifts and reflecting on his surprise party. Then the guy jumps into our world with a very nasty “STOP IT!” directed at me. I CAN understand TRYING to understand this guys motivation here. But when I go over the night and the way he was, the way he kept asking Ponce if I was his brother, the only answer I have is this was a sad, pathetic person who wants to feel good about himself. The comment above states “down syndrome is a disability which has a different severity for each individual…” and this is true. Just like there are different levels of assholes in the world. I think Hand-face is not one of the extreme asshole types, but rather that secret asshole… the one that would fuck your girlfriend if she was passed out drunk and then blame it on the booze if someone found out about it. Like, “We were both drunk… it just happened,” when the full reality of the situation is that the secret asshole may have been drunk but he still had sex with someone who was passed out.” That’s the kinda guy I think the real face behind the hand-face is.

That said, I move on to this part of the above comment, “not knowing who ponce is and how it (Down Syndrome) affects him, i think this guy was just expressing concern because he didn’t want to see ponce harassed for it…” Again, I gotta go with a sad, pathetic person angle here. If he paid attention to anything that Ponce and I were talking about, if he had bothered to LISTEN to what we were discussing, any concern he had would have been quelled. We were talking about how cool his gifts were. Talking about his signed autograph from his favorite actor John Travolta. We were hugging, pounding fists, showing affection when HF decided to step in and shout “STOP IT!” to a total stranger. Explain to me how someone who is concerned for a person who has Down Syndrome, someone who mentors people with Downs as he claimed, deals with his concern by yelling this way, totally freaking out the guy he is supposedly concerned about. He had NO REASON to be concerned. When I confronted him face to hand-face he couldn’t give me one reason why he was concerned. He couldn’t explain what the “it” was in his “Stop it!” demand. And honestly, his later saying his reason was because I was “making fun of him… (awkward pause)… or SOMETHING” kinda says it all. The guy was just throwing shit out there to see what stuck.

He was talking to two girls and most likely trying to look like a hero to them by stepping in to save the poor defenseless guy with Downs from the terrible guy standing next to him. You know, the guy who was just hugging the poor little Downs guy, the guy that was exchanging phrases like “How cool is that gift,” and “Love my bro” back and forth with him. Notice that hand-face had NO friends with him and he left alone.

I am not in any way upset about the above comment from DontEatTheFish73. In fact, It helps make the point I want to make. Discussion is the way we learn, the way we discover new ideas and understand things in this life better. This guy had ZERO interest in discussing anything. He didn’t even have a point. Not one single point. And when the word “RETARDED” came up he used it as an excuse to get out of there as fast as he could. He came back because I called him out on this. He immediately fled again when he realized he had nothing to add, nothing to defend his non existent point with other than falling back on the base “You People” angle… his offense at a word that wasn’t even used in the context he chose to react to.

I asked him “Have you seen Retarded Policeman?” and his response was to… pause, realize there is something here he can latch onto that is familiar to him like taking the blanket view that a word has only one meaning and then saying “Retarded, you’re calling it retarded!?!” then walking away, flipping me off and telling me to fuck off. Let’s just look at his words for a second…

“Retarded, you’re calling it retarded!?!”

What is “it” exactly? Calling “it” retarded. If he is referring to Ponce here, he’s a dickhead. If he is saying I am saying that Retarded means Down Syndrome he’s way off base. I asked if he had seen “Retarded Policeman.” At this point he either knows or doesn’t know what I am talking about. If he knows the series, then his phrase “calling it retarded” doesn’t stand up because it IS called the Retarded Policeman. If he has not seen the series, he has no idea what I am talking about. Am I talking about an actual policeman? A movie? A book? A painting? He never asked one question about what the Retarded Policeman was in reference to. He just played the take offense card and ran away. It was the only thing he had left.

And that’s all I have left on this issue. For now.

I want to thank DontEatTheFish73 for trying to understand where the hand-face was coming from and voicing his thoughts. It helped me to voice mine. I wish more people would talk about things, especially things that make them uncomfortable, so we could all figure out a way to move past them… If we did that, I think we would all get along better with everyone we meet.

The H.U.T.A.S. of America

SAP here…

There’s a thing that Ponce and I refer to as H.U.T.A.S. or Head Up The Ass Syndrome. Billions of humans are affected by this syndrome. Ponce and I occasionally suffer through little bouts with it ourselves. Why do I bring this affliction up now?

I gots the RATINGS system on my mind. Our Hey Bro Am I a Documentary Filmmaker video got flagged on YouTube. Now you have to be 18 years old to watch it. Which makes me think of one thing AMERICA has to do if we ever want to be… in the words of Ponceman… really cool. Pull the 2 mile prude-stick out of it’s ass and burn it to cinders. Sing it with me to the Elvis Presley tune Return to Sender… BURN IT TO CINDERS — BURN IT TO CINDERS.

I’ll try to make my point as simple and honest as possible. There is a problem with the Ratings system. G, PG, R, NC-17, X, XXX, TVMA, TVPG and so on and so forth are all stupid fucking wastes of time.

There needs to be ONE and only ONE rating for everything in this life. Are you ready for it?

PG

It stands for Parental Guidance. It’s a simple concept that got bastardized and convoluted because somebody decided we needed an organization to decide what people can watch at a certain age in their lives. CHRONOLOGICAL AGE. This system is moronic and only exists to aid in the dumbing down and making lazy of the American People.

Having a brother with Down Syndrome has definitely given me some insight on issues like these. Ponce is an amazing human. Ponce has a great sense of humor, he’s pretty swift in picking up on people’s bullshit, and he has an amazing encyclopedic knowledge of movies, actors, and film in general. The thing to always remember with Ponce is… he has Down Syndrome. This is easy to forget because of all the things I just mentioned. His CHRONOLOGICAL AGE is 31. However his actual age, mentally, is all over the place depending on the time of day and how much coffee he’s had. Sometimes he’s 13, sometimes he’s 5, sometimes he’s 86. And this will always be the case with him. He has down Syndrome, it’s something that will stay with him forever because it is genetic.

There are a ton of ADULTS in the world that do NOT have Down Syndrome, but are mentally 2. The ones who suffer from H.U.T.A.S., and unlike Down Syndrome, H.U.T.A.S is learned behavior. It’s reinforced by a devotion to not asking questions, swallowing whatever people feed you, and just plain laziness. You know the H.U.T.A.S. sufferers. You see them in bars, on the streets, giving you customer support for your internet service from some idiot pit where they all hang out and eat Twinkies. The world is full of these people. I saw one of them a few weeks ago stumble out of a bar, fall to the ground, crawl across the sidewalk. and then roll around on the ground for over 30 minutes as he tried to unlock his bicycle. I shit you not, over 30 minutes to unlock his fucking bike. Then he hopped on it, drove 20 feet, and slammed into the back of a pickup truck. Then he hopped back on the bike and rode out into traffic. I tried to stop him but apparently the booze or the ramming headfirst into the truck also made him deaf. I think it’s safe to say that if he did not make it home safe it was just natural selection taking care of some loose ends.

PG Parental Guidance is the only rating there should be… for everything! Want to control what your kids are watching? Watch it first. Ask a friend. Do some research. Then decide. PARENT the kids. Same goes for music, food, sex… okay. I am not saying have sex with someone your kid wants to bang so you can approve the activity. It’s the GUIDANCE part. Talk to them about it. You’ve had sex. You know about the assholes and twat-rockets that exist out there, so pass on the info to Junior. Meet who the kids hang out with. If Parents talk to their kids enough about this life crap the kids will be able to pick up on other people’s bullshit on their own.

And yes, no matter what you do you’re gonna get burned sometimes. Maybe the kid will see a movie with the F-word in it. News flash, people say the F-word every fucking day. They get fucked over by people everyday. They eat food that is slowly killing them every day. Just let the kids know what the hell is going on out their so if they do get a McDonald’s induced heart failure from the genetic mutation known as the McRib they at least knew it was coming.

Give them the info and one day, when the kid finally sees the original Karate Kid movie, they can look up at you and say, “You were right mom/dad. That new Karate Kid movie is just a big pile of shit compared to the one with then teen darling Ralph Macchio and the OG Mr. MiYagi Pat Morita. Thanks for warning me about the bullshit that exists in this world and encouraging me to question the things people feed me as facts and to learn to research things on my own. Your PARENTAL GUIDANCE is the best gift you could have ever given me. Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a double bacon cheeseburger from Micky D’s and a dirty slut from Math class waiting to bang me on the playground where the older school kids sell drugs to 4th graders.”

Flagged video here.