The H.U.T.A.S. of America

SAP here…

There’s a thing that Ponce and I refer to as H.U.T.A.S. or Head Up The Ass Syndrome. Billions of humans are affected by this syndrome. Ponce and I occasionally suffer through little bouts with it ourselves. Why do I bring this affliction up now?

I gots the RATINGS system on my mind. Our Hey Bro Am I a Documentary Filmmaker video got flagged on YouTube. Now you have to be 18 years old to watch it. Which makes me think of one thing AMERICA has to do if we ever want to be… in the words of Ponceman… really cool. Pull the 2 mile prude-stick out of it’s ass and burn it to cinders. Sing it with me to the Elvis Presley tune Return to Sender… BURN IT TO CINDERS — BURN IT TO CINDERS.

I’ll try to make my point as simple and honest as possible. There is a problem with the Ratings system. G, PG, R, NC-17, X, XXX, TVMA, TVPG and so on and so forth are all stupid fucking wastes of time.

There needs to be ONE and only ONE rating for everything in this life. Are you ready for it?

PG

It stands for Parental Guidance. It’s a simple concept that got bastardized and convoluted because somebody decided we needed an organization to decide what people can watch at a certain age in their lives. CHRONOLOGICAL AGE. This system is moronic and only exists to aid in the dumbing down and making lazy of the American People.

Having a brother with Down Syndrome has definitely given me some insight on issues like these. Ponce is an amazing human. Ponce has a great sense of humor, he’s pretty swift in picking up on people’s bullshit, and he has an amazing encyclopedic knowledge of movies, actors, and film in general. The thing to always remember with Ponce is… he has Down Syndrome. This is easy to forget because of all the things I just mentioned. His CHRONOLOGICAL AGE is 31. However his actual age, mentally, is all over the place depending on the time of day and how much coffee he’s had. Sometimes he’s 13, sometimes he’s 5, sometimes he’s 86. And this will always be the case with him. He has down Syndrome, it’s something that will stay with him forever because it is genetic.

There are a ton of ADULTS in the world that do NOT have Down Syndrome, but are mentally 2. The ones who suffer from H.U.T.A.S., and unlike Down Syndrome, H.U.T.A.S is learned behavior. It’s reinforced by a devotion to not asking questions, swallowing whatever people feed you, and just plain laziness. You know the H.U.T.A.S. sufferers. You see them in bars, on the streets, giving you customer support for your internet service from some idiot pit where they all hang out and eat Twinkies. The world is full of these people. I saw one of them a few weeks ago stumble out of a bar, fall to the ground, crawl across the sidewalk. and then roll around on the ground for over 30 minutes as he tried to unlock his bicycle. I shit you not, over 30 minutes to unlock his fucking bike. Then he hopped on it, drove 20 feet, and slammed into the back of a pickup truck. Then he hopped back on the bike and rode out into traffic. I tried to stop him but apparently the booze or the ramming headfirst into the truck also made him deaf. I think it’s safe to say that if he did not make it home safe it was just natural selection taking care of some loose ends.

PG Parental Guidance is the only rating there should be… for everything! Want to control what your kids are watching? Watch it first. Ask a friend. Do some research. Then decide. PARENT the kids. Same goes for music, food, sex… okay. I am not saying have sex with someone your kid wants to bang so you can approve the activity. It’s the GUIDANCE part. Talk to them about it. You’ve had sex. You know about the assholes and twat-rockets that exist out there, so pass on the info to Junior. Meet who the kids hang out with. If Parents talk to their kids enough about this life crap the kids will be able to pick up on other people’s bullshit on their own.

And yes, no matter what you do you’re gonna get burned sometimes. Maybe the kid will see a movie with the F-word in it. News flash, people say the F-word every fucking day. They get fucked over by people everyday. They eat food that is slowly killing them every day. Just let the kids know what the hell is going on out their so if they do get a McDonald’s induced heart failure from the genetic mutation known as the McRib they at least knew it was coming.

Give them the info and one day, when the kid finally sees the original Karate Kid movie, they can look up at you and say, “You were right mom/dad. That new Karate Kid movie is just a big pile of shit compared to the one with then teen darling Ralph Macchio and the OG Mr. MiYagi Pat Morita. Thanks for warning me about the bullshit that exists in this world and encouraging me to question the things people feed me as facts and to learn to research things on my own. Your PARENTAL GUIDANCE is the best gift you could have ever given me. Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a double bacon cheeseburger from Micky D’s and a dirty slut from Math class waiting to bang me on the playground where the older school kids sell drugs to 4th graders.”

Flagged video here.

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