He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother

He ain't heavy... he's my brother (photo by eric curtis)

SAP here…

Having a brother with down syndrome who is a full time roommate has been a bit of an adjustment for me… for us… for the whole world really, because we decided we want to jump on the lost cause train and try to change the world.

A lot of people we meet who are fans of the stuff we do don’t realize that Ponce and I have only lived together for the last 3 years. Before that I would only see him a couple of times a year. We talked on the phone a lot, but the face to face bro time was very spread out and something that bugged me a lot. When I pitched the TV segments and got the greenlight I was thrilled that I would finally have my bro spending some good quality time with me, and he’d be doing what he has dreamed of doing for years, acting.

The first 2 years however were quite cramped. My one bedroom apartment in Los Feliz was great for just me. Hard to share with another person. When that person is Ponce, it does make it easier. You get some sweet morning cuddles, a guy who actually likes taking out the garbage, and a smile just about every time you look his way. He’s a very pleasant fellow.

Jobs changed a lot though. I couldn’t take any jobs that had me going away to work for extended periods of time, something I would do every few months, editing on a job or acting, whatever paid the bills. Working as a team it makes taking jobs like that less easy to jump on.

Also, we are brothers, we drive each other crazy sometimes. And Ponce is, and he will agree, a drama queen. A moody little beeyotch. He’s also a night owl, so he tends to not want to do anything in the exert some energy column until after 3 pm. 5pm is better.

The good thing about this brotherly combo is that we do help each other. He has made me more patient.So much so that I didn’t realize how impatient I was before. And I am still very impatient. Just not so much now that Ponce and I are kickin’ it.

Down syndrome is something that can frustrate a person to their wits end. And I have been there. It’s hard to remember that Ponce has down’s a lot of the time because he is so bright and talented it doesn’t seem like there is any kind of limitation there at all. But, there is… it just sneaks in when you least expect it and you don’t even notice why the person who just made the funniest joke you’ve heard all year is also the one who has suddenly forgotten how to tie his shoes.

The move to the bigger place, our new loft in downtown L.A., has really given us new energy and a revitalized desire to do more stuff. Make more videos, make movies, build things… It’s a great haven for creativity.

As frustrating as things get, as tiring as it can be just trying to make ends meet in this world, the one solid rock that is always there is Ponce. And he might be one of the causes of frustration at the time, but he is also the thing that makes me look at situations in my life differently than I did before we became roomies. And he is, in my opinion, the best human on this planet. Love my bro, no matter how many times his gas makes me leave the room while he laughs wickedly at me, I will always be there for him because he is always there for everyone who needs a smile. Except for assholes… he tends to not really dig their company. We see eye to eye on that one.

-sap out

11 thoughts on “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother

  1. valentino76 says:

    I dig what your saying man. I’ve got an uncle with downs, even though he’s 10 years older than me we pretty much grew up together after my folks split. He’s one of the greatest guys on the planet, I had to expand the list after watching you and the Ponceman. I love what you guys are doing. The vids are great and keep sticking up that huge middle finger to all the assholes of the world that don’t get.

  2. davidgentry says:

    Great post! It is obvious, from your videos, that you two love each other very much (especially the recent drunk birthday video). I certainly cannot say that I understand what you are going through having and taking care of a sibling with down syndrome…I just can’t. No one can unless they have experienced it themselves.

    Your post was open, honest and sincere. It shows that both of you, regardless of what we see on YouTube, are human.

    Keep up the fantastic work!

  3. You guys are great. I loved the RP series sorry to read up a bit ago how you guys got screwed on the payments and merchandising.

    I just wanted to say I appreciate what your saying in regards to living with a person that has Down Syndrome, my son is 14 and has DS. I’d say he’s much like your brother in that he’s what would be called high functioning and sarcastic as hell. I’m a stand up comic as well so that’s probably my fault in retrospect.

    But the point is your right it sneaks up on you and it’s usually just everyday things we take for granted. We live in the Bay Area so I get fired as Father/Master of the Universe every time it’s a rainy day and I don’t make it stop when he gets up. He’s a happy guy but he hates rain.

    But the hugs and flat out unadulterated and at times undeserved love we get living with them is something most of the world could use a little more of.

    I wish you guys luck out there in the universe and who knows maybe I’ll see you around down there sometime.

  4. What a really moving post SAP – I have always loved watching both of you interact, you guys just seem to have a really great bond. I don’t know what else to add that others haven’t already said before – you guys just seem like really awesome and kindhearted people; I always look forward to your videos, because it’s really obvious how much you guys love each other, and it’s really heartwarming. I know, mooshy post, but I really think you guys are great, and I love reading stuff like this! Just warms the cockles of my heart haha.

  5. kits6cats says:

    Beautiful picture and post SAP. You can really feel the love between you in your vlogs. I love to watch you interact together. You remind me of my best friend and I. Great job.


  6. i love watching you two together. i have a family member with autism and yes, so i know he can be the best and the most frustrating thing in life sometimes. i do really admire you for your work with ponce! it’s inspiring! plus it really makes me laugh 🙂 sending you lots of love and light!

  7. I can totally relate to you. Like.. TOTALLY. My sister has down syndrom and I see her once a week, sometimes twice. However, she also is really autistic which means she can not speak. But, you know, I love her. And I love it when she is around. I can tell she feels the same way because sometimes she just randomly comes to hug me. Not just a hug, but the ‘Hey, I know you are taking care of me, I love you!’ – hug. I’m totally there for her, always :).
    Also, my best friend has a form of autism. He is one of the brightest person alive.

  8. I just discovered you guys today and I love your work! I have a son with CP and lots of other problems. He will never walk or talk, but has a smile that will light up anyone’s darkness and is loved by all who meet him. He just turned 18 and changes everyone’s life he meets. He too is incredible. Like you, whenever I feel like life gets me down, I look at him and wonder how without ever saying a word and armed with only a smile, he has changed everyone he meets. He can really work a room! Like Ponce, he will test your patience but will enrich your life. You are a better person for knowing him and especially for bringing him into your life. Keep up the great work! I hope to see all of you in the mainstream of media!

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