He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother

He ain't heavy... he's my brother (photo by eric curtis)

SAP here…

Having a brother with down syndrome who is a full time roommate has been a bit of an adjustment for me… for us… for the whole world really, because we decided we want to jump on the lost cause train and try to change the world.

A lot of people we meet who are fans of the stuff we do don’t realize that Ponce and I have only lived together for the last 3 years. Before that I would only see him a couple of times a year. We talked on the phone a lot, but the face to face bro time was very spread out and something that bugged me a lot. When I pitched the TV segments and got the greenlight I was thrilled that I would finally have my bro spending some good quality time with me, and he’d be doing what he has dreamed of doing for years, acting.

The first 2 years however were quite cramped. My one bedroom apartment in Los Feliz was great for just me. Hard to share with another person. When that person is Ponce, it does make it easier. You get some sweet morning cuddles, a guy who actually likes taking out the garbage, and a smile just about every time you look his way. He’s a very pleasant fellow.

Jobs changed a lot though. I couldn’t take any jobs that had me going away to work for extended periods of time, something I would do every few months, editing on a job or acting, whatever paid the bills. Working as a team it makes taking jobs like that less easy to jump on.

Also, we are brothers, we drive each other crazy sometimes. And Ponce is, and he will agree, a drama queen. A moody little beeyotch. He’s also a night owl, so he tends to not want to do anything in the exert some energy column until after 3 pm. 5pm is better.

The good thing about this brotherly combo is that we do help each other. He has made me more patient.So much so that I didn’t realize how impatient I was before. And I am still very impatient. Just not so much now that Ponce and I are kickin’ it.

Down syndrome is something that can frustrate a person to their wits end. And I have been there. It’s hard to remember that Ponce has down’s a lot of the time because he is so bright and talented it doesn’t seem like there is any kind of limitation there at all. But, there is… it just sneaks in when you least expect it and you don’t even notice why the person who just made the funniest joke you’ve heard all year is also the one who has suddenly forgotten how to tie his shoes.

The move to the bigger place, our new loft in downtown L.A., has really given us new energy and a revitalized desire to do more stuff. Make more videos, make movies, build things… It’s a great haven for creativity.

As frustrating as things get, as tiring as it can be just trying to make ends meet in this world, the one solid rock that is always there is Ponce. And he might be one of the causes of frustration at the time, but he is also the thing that makes me look at situations in my life differently than I did before we became roomies. And he is, in my opinion, the best human on this planet. Love my bro, no matter how many times his gas makes me leave the room while he laughs wickedly at me, I will always be there for him because he is always there for everyone who needs a smile. Except for assholes… he tends to not really dig their company. We see eye to eye on that one.

-sap out

Thoughts on the Hand-Face Douche

Ponce here…

I just wanna say the hand-face guy was a real asshole and he kinda freaked me out a little. I didn’t understand what was going on and he kept asking me “Is that your brother? Is that your brother?” and he was really weird. I’m okay and he didn’t ruin my birthday but it was really weird while he was there. I don’t understand sometimes when people act like that but bro takes care of me and he’s got my back and I got his back. Bros before Hos and we take care of each other so to the people out there, rock on and peace out.

– Ponce

SAP here…

For those who don’t know, some guy injected himself into our lives on Ponce’s birthday and it was one of the more annoying interactions we’ve had with a stranger stepping in to… well, that’s just it. None of us who were there actually know what he was really trying to do.

I’ll just go bounce a few thoughts off of this comment DontEatTheFish73 made on the video.

DontEatTheFish73 i hate to defend this guy, but i can kind of see his concern. down syndrome is a disability which has a different severity for each individual, so not knowing who ponce is and how it affects him, i think this guy was just expressing concern because he didn’t want to see ponce harassed for it. granted this guy probably took it too far, and wasn’t very intelligent about it, i think his intentions were good. he definitely could have handled it better and minded his own business though.

I gotta say, with all the conviction in my heart, that I wish I could understand where Hand-Face was coming from. I tried to edit it so you could see the build up, but there was no buildup. It was me and Ponce being filmed by Windsock looking at all his birthday gifts and reflecting on his surprise party. Then the guy jumps into our world with a very nasty “STOP IT!” directed at me. I CAN understand TRYING to understand this guys motivation here. But when I go over the night and the way he was, the way he kept asking Ponce if I was his brother, the only answer I have is this was a sad, pathetic person who wants to feel good about himself. The comment above states “down syndrome is a disability which has a different severity for each individual…” and this is true. Just like there are different levels of assholes in the world. I think Hand-face is not one of the extreme asshole types, but rather that secret asshole… the one that would fuck your girlfriend if she was passed out drunk and then blame it on the booze if someone found out about it. Like, “We were both drunk… it just happened,” when the full reality of the situation is that the secret asshole may have been drunk but he still had sex with someone who was passed out.” That’s the kinda guy I think the real face behind the hand-face is.

That said, I move on to this part of the above comment, “not knowing who ponce is and how it (Down Syndrome) affects him, i think this guy was just expressing concern because he didn’t want to see ponce harassed for it…” Again, I gotta go with a sad, pathetic person angle here. If he paid attention to anything that Ponce and I were talking about, if he had bothered to LISTEN to what we were discussing, any concern he had would have been quelled. We were talking about how cool his gifts were. Talking about his signed autograph from his favorite actor John Travolta. We were hugging, pounding fists, showing affection when HF decided to step in and shout “STOP IT!” to a total stranger. Explain to me how someone who is concerned for a person who has Down Syndrome, someone who mentors people with Downs as he claimed, deals with his concern by yelling this way, totally freaking out the guy he is supposedly concerned about. He had NO REASON to be concerned. When I confronted him face to hand-face he couldn’t give me one reason why he was concerned. He couldn’t explain what the “it” was in his “Stop it!” demand. And honestly, his later saying his reason was because I was “making fun of him… (awkward pause)… or SOMETHING” kinda says it all. The guy was just throwing shit out there to see what stuck.

He was talking to two girls and most likely trying to look like a hero to them by stepping in to save the poor defenseless guy with Downs from the terrible guy standing next to him. You know, the guy who was just hugging the poor little Downs guy, the guy that was exchanging phrases like “How cool is that gift,” and “Love my bro” back and forth with him. Notice that hand-face had NO friends with him and he left alone.

I am not in any way upset about the above comment from DontEatTheFish73. In fact, It helps make the point I want to make. Discussion is the way we learn, the way we discover new ideas and understand things in this life better. This guy had ZERO interest in discussing anything. He didn’t even have a point. Not one single point. And when the word “RETARDED” came up he used it as an excuse to get out of there as fast as he could. He came back because I called him out on this. He immediately fled again when he realized he had nothing to add, nothing to defend his non existent point with other than falling back on the base “You People” angle… his offense at a word that wasn’t even used in the context he chose to react to.

I asked him “Have you seen Retarded Policeman?” and his response was to… pause, realize there is something here he can latch onto that is familiar to him like taking the blanket view that a word has only one meaning and then saying “Retarded, you’re calling it retarded!?!” then walking away, flipping me off and telling me to fuck off. Let’s just look at his words for a second…

“Retarded, you’re calling it retarded!?!”

What is “it” exactly? Calling “it” retarded. If he is referring to Ponce here, he’s a dickhead. If he is saying I am saying that Retarded means Down Syndrome he’s way off base. I asked if he had seen “Retarded Policeman.” At this point he either knows or doesn’t know what I am talking about. If he knows the series, then his phrase “calling it retarded” doesn’t stand up because it IS called the Retarded Policeman. If he has not seen the series, he has no idea what I am talking about. Am I talking about an actual policeman? A movie? A book? A painting? He never asked one question about what the Retarded Policeman was in reference to. He just played the take offense card and ran away. It was the only thing he had left.

And that’s all I have left on this issue. For now.

I want to thank DontEatTheFish73 for trying to understand where the hand-face was coming from and voicing his thoughts. It helped me to voice mine. I wish more people would talk about things, especially things that make them uncomfortable, so we could all figure out a way to move past them… If we did that, I think we would all get along better with everyone we meet.

The H.U.T.A.S. of America

SAP here…

There’s a thing that Ponce and I refer to as H.U.T.A.S. or Head Up The Ass Syndrome. Billions of humans are affected by this syndrome. Ponce and I occasionally suffer through little bouts with it ourselves. Why do I bring this affliction up now?

I gots the RATINGS system on my mind. Our Hey Bro Am I a Documentary Filmmaker video got flagged on YouTube. Now you have to be 18 years old to watch it. Which makes me think of one thing AMERICA has to do if we ever want to be… in the words of Ponceman… really cool. Pull the 2 mile prude-stick out of it’s ass and burn it to cinders. Sing it with me to the Elvis Presley tune Return to Sender… BURN IT TO CINDERS — BURN IT TO CINDERS.

I’ll try to make my point as simple and honest as possible. There is a problem with the Ratings system. G, PG, R, NC-17, X, XXX, TVMA, TVPG and so on and so forth are all stupid fucking wastes of time.

There needs to be ONE and only ONE rating for everything in this life. Are you ready for it?

PG

It stands for Parental Guidance. It’s a simple concept that got bastardized and convoluted because somebody decided we needed an organization to decide what people can watch at a certain age in their lives. CHRONOLOGICAL AGE. This system is moronic and only exists to aid in the dumbing down and making lazy of the American People.

Having a brother with Down Syndrome has definitely given me some insight on issues like these. Ponce is an amazing human. Ponce has a great sense of humor, he’s pretty swift in picking up on people’s bullshit, and he has an amazing encyclopedic knowledge of movies, actors, and film in general. The thing to always remember with Ponce is… he has Down Syndrome. This is easy to forget because of all the things I just mentioned. His CHRONOLOGICAL AGE is 31. However his actual age, mentally, is all over the place depending on the time of day and how much coffee he’s had. Sometimes he’s 13, sometimes he’s 5, sometimes he’s 86. And this will always be the case with him. He has down Syndrome, it’s something that will stay with him forever because it is genetic.

There are a ton of ADULTS in the world that do NOT have Down Syndrome, but are mentally 2. The ones who suffer from H.U.T.A.S., and unlike Down Syndrome, H.U.T.A.S is learned behavior. It’s reinforced by a devotion to not asking questions, swallowing whatever people feed you, and just plain laziness. You know the H.U.T.A.S. sufferers. You see them in bars, on the streets, giving you customer support for your internet service from some idiot pit where they all hang out and eat Twinkies. The world is full of these people. I saw one of them a few weeks ago stumble out of a bar, fall to the ground, crawl across the sidewalk. and then roll around on the ground for over 30 minutes as he tried to unlock his bicycle. I shit you not, over 30 minutes to unlock his fucking bike. Then he hopped on it, drove 20 feet, and slammed into the back of a pickup truck. Then he hopped back on the bike and rode out into traffic. I tried to stop him but apparently the booze or the ramming headfirst into the truck also made him deaf. I think it’s safe to say that if he did not make it home safe it was just natural selection taking care of some loose ends.

PG Parental Guidance is the only rating there should be… for everything! Want to control what your kids are watching? Watch it first. Ask a friend. Do some research. Then decide. PARENT the kids. Same goes for music, food, sex… okay. I am not saying have sex with someone your kid wants to bang so you can approve the activity. It’s the GUIDANCE part. Talk to them about it. You’ve had sex. You know about the assholes and twat-rockets that exist out there, so pass on the info to Junior. Meet who the kids hang out with. If Parents talk to their kids enough about this life crap the kids will be able to pick up on other people’s bullshit on their own.

And yes, no matter what you do you’re gonna get burned sometimes. Maybe the kid will see a movie with the F-word in it. News flash, people say the F-word every fucking day. They get fucked over by people everyday. They eat food that is slowly killing them every day. Just let the kids know what the hell is going on out their so if they do get a McDonald’s induced heart failure from the genetic mutation known as the McRib they at least knew it was coming.

Give them the info and one day, when the kid finally sees the original Karate Kid movie, they can look up at you and say, “You were right mom/dad. That new Karate Kid movie is just a big pile of shit compared to the one with then teen darling Ralph Macchio and the OG Mr. MiYagi Pat Morita. Thanks for warning me about the bullshit that exists in this world and encouraging me to question the things people feed me as facts and to learn to research things on my own. Your PARENTAL GUIDANCE is the best gift you could have ever given me. Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a double bacon cheeseburger from Micky D’s and a dirty slut from Math class waiting to bang me on the playground where the older school kids sell drugs to 4th graders.”

Flagged video here.

I Vomit This Blog From My Soul

SAP here…

So the Clash of the Titans new trailer looks like a made for TV Sci-Fi channel movie. They spent $70,000,000 on it. Looks like it cost about $100,000.

Now you’d think I would be mad at Hollywood for raping itself and remaking/re-imagining all the movies it already owns for what is clearly motivated purely by profit. It’s the same reason I can’t fucking stand P Diddy. His “Every Breath You Take” was a hit… no shit. It was already a hit. Made by the Police. It’s a no brainer to churn out a different version of the same shit and have it be successful. I wouldn’t mind it so much if the studios and the P Diddys of the world would put a little effort into it to at least look like they were trying to make something good. But they don’t, and the CGI in the new Clash of the Titans trailer is screaming proof of this.

I am not mad at the studios. I AM, however, fucking pissed off at the movie going public for continually paying to see this crap. Everyone knows the Charlie’s Angels movies suck ass. But people still paid to see them. Everyone knew the re-imagining of Friday the 13th was gonna suck a turd in hell, and it did, and people still paid to see it. And I know that the masses will once again rise up and pay their ever rising ticket price to see the new Clash of the Titans.And it WILL suck.

There is something magical about the original COTT. Maybe it’s the chick-like hotness of Harry Hamlin, or Sir Lawrence Olivier slumming it in a 1981 B-movie, or the hope of seeing a glimpse of a Cassiopeioa titty. YES, Ray Harryhausen’s stop motion animation is 90% of the ooh in the COTT’s ooh lah lah.

The thing is, creating the world in the 1981 Clash of the Titans took effort. The Kracken was the most badass thing I had ever seen, regardless of whether or not I knew it was only 2 foot high in real life. The thing is… it EXISTED in real life. The CGI has gone crazy lazy and the COTT new-redo-poopoo is a big crappy testament to this. The Kracken is a ripoff of the one in the Pirates of the Carribean movie. Already no surprise there. Just a way to market it better. If they like the Kracken in Pirates let’s put it in COTT to get those people’s butt’s back in the seats.

Pirates of the Kracken-ribbean

The New Kracked out Kracken - Familiar mouth

The New Kracked out Kracken

Why does Hollywood continue to churn out shit they already own? Yes, part of the reason is because they already own it. They don’t need to pay for anything new. But the only reason that matters, the main reason, is because people keep paying to see the shit.

If you are one of the movie goers who continually shells out 10 bucks a pop to see remakes/re-imaginings of Hollywood classics then HURRY NOW! Send me 10 bucks and I will send you a video of the dump I took last night. It’s pretty much the same as the dump I took the night before and the night before that so you better ACT NOW!

Shame on you, you movie goer. Demand better movies by refusing to pay for the shitty ones.

FYI – Ponce can’t wait to see the new COTT. He has a hard on for crappy movies. But he’s learned to wait till they hit cable.

Why We are doing Win a Date With Ponceman

SAP here…

It’s true! YOU, if you are the right fit for Ponce, can win a date with him, he, the one, the man, the Ponceman.

So why are we doing this online, win a date, with a guy that is totally awesome? The simple answer is… Ponce has Down Syndrome and meeting chicks who are down with the Downs is not an easy task.

Sure, we could get a professional, a prostitute, a hooker if you will. But I’m an old fashioned guy in the opposite sense of most old fashioned guys. I would rather pimp my bro out to try and find a needle in a haystack female that might be out there who is really into Ponce than find a pimp and have him lose his sweet virgin cherry to someone who you could park a Tonka truck in.

Ponce really does want romance, love, a girlfriend. He also wants to lose his virginity and those two sides don’t always get along. Sometimes he’s like, “Let’s go to Vegas. This virginity’s killin’ me, bro!” Other times are more, “I wanna go on a real date and hold hands and makeout.” Another angle to the dilemma here is… if we go the professional route there will be no making out. No other “specialized” activities Ponce is dying to try. Because it’s not a smart decision health-wise, and otherwise it’s just plain gross.So, the real date route would actually give him what he really wants more than just sex… makeout embrace romance.

Honestly, I think Ponce would be happy to just roll around naked with a girl and laugh and kiss and just giggle about the fact that they were naked. He has the sweetest heart on the planet. I haven’t run into ALL of them, but I would bet the existence of mankind that in a face-off with all the hearts on the planet Ponce would definitely be in the top 3 sweetest.

So, of course, big brother wants his little bro to be happy, to get everything his heart desires, and to always be happy. When sex enters a humans life path, all those things get screwed up. Yes, I have had a lot of sour experiences with the opposite sex. Yes, I am very jaded and lean towards the non-optimistic side of things when it comes to romantic entanglements. You’d think that would make biting the hooker bullet a lot easier. It actually has the opposite effect on me. Maybe it’s my own way of keeping the hopeless romantic that used to live inside me alive. The standard living vicariously through someone else ploy. Whatever the reason, Ponce still has innocence, romance, and love coursing through his veins. So, That’s why I want to do everything I can to help him find someone outside the “lady of the night” realm and more like the “cute girl you meet in a library” realm.

YouTube, is NOT a library. There are a ton of nasty little pricks and just plain mean people out there who hide behind anonymous comments filled with the sour devil-pus feelings they have for themselves. But there are also an overwhelming amount of cool, everyday, girl you do meet in a library kind of people on YouTube as well. And they do outnumber the nasties 10 to 1.

So, if you know someone you think would like a nice dinner and a movie with the Ponceman, or you just want to show your support, please make us a video, leave us a comment, let us know you’re out there and you got our backs.

Email us links to your video or just share your thoughts at info@ponceman.com
Rate and Comment on our video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppFjTRZozSU

Our non-U.S. viewers can’t see some of our videos.

Ever feel like the whole internet world is against you... outside the U.S.

Hey guys, for all our non-U.S.A. youtubers, can you guys please check the links to the videos below and message us back to let us know if you can watch them or not. We have had this issue for the past week and some of our favorite videos are not able to play outside the U.S. Youtube says they are working on it but so far we are stillgetting messages saying they can’t be viewed.

Just twitter or email us with where you are and whether or not you can view the videos below.

Twitter @ponceman
Email info@ponceman.com

Thanks, SAP & Ponce

Unforgivable – Ponceman Style: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8f3CnCJyRVs

Funky Christmas Song Ho Ho Ho: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-yiShig87k

Have A Sexy Ponceman Xmas – Pop Up Edition: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbvoQgHEwQU

Follicles – A body hair love song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrpxOsR1gqY

Perry-Normal Activity (Paranormal Activity Spoofage): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiALgRxKvbg

HOMOPHOBE!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqr8pId987E

A Parkour Odyssey – Follow the Leader: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2omXBcm3FU

Inglouriousouser Bastards – Inglourious Basterds spoof: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJqI9bv0C7I

The Neighborhood – Puddin’ Wrestlin’: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DImMZTIhgbw

Perez (Perryz) Hilton VS Will.I.Am – Attacked in Toronto too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIjTD8Rwtdo

Happy Father’s Day – Perry Brother’s Style: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6_Sb1HVV6c

Coach Crusher: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PufWQ7UX78c

Easter Dinner: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfU5UF42Ei4

Knock Knock: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNw0dDi_R4E

Sugar: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8fFWdkVIjk

Jizz in my Pants Parody: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDf22T_-44Y

The End – Part 7: Ponce Goes To Sundance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cymkl5tfDE8

Paris Hilton – Part 6: Ponce Goes To Sundance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5p6iMYU0MFA

Wunderkammer – Part 5: Ponce Goes To Sundance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUKYUXfI2Bg

Kardashian Sandwich – Part 4: Ponce Goes To Sundance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp8oxTjm_og

Cab 29 – Part 3: Ponce Goes To Sundance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jebyd8nJvO4

Getting There – Part 2: Ponce Goes To Sundance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xy4l5hDvd4

The Phone Call – Part 1: Ponce Goes To Sundance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Y2SPG3ypII

SAPPY BIRTHDAY

SAP here…

It is my birthday and i am super duper happy that I have such a sweet family and group of friends who actually make me feel happy I was birthed. Too much crap in this world has the opposite affect.Ponce actually made his blog a mini-celebration of the day and I couldn’t be prouder of the little stud.

Something you should know about Ponce. Last year he decided to throw me a surprise birthday party. Ponce puts new meaning into the word surprise. The guests were all surprised too. Basically, he got a few friends to help him organize it. Thing is, nobody knew there were others helping so 3 different entities were trying to set up the same thing. Ponce, trying to please everyone, said yes to every idea. The night went something like this…

6PM. Our friend Pedro shows up at our apartment. He’s not what you’d call a regular at our place and he looked shell shocked when he saw he was the only one at our place. I knew something was up then. He could only stay about 30 minutes. Next, I had to leave to go do something for Ponce. He just wanted me out of the house for a little bit. When I returned… no surprise party. We went to a cafe, Alcove. There was a handful of our friends there to surprise us. Then Ponce gets a call. Some other people had shown up at our Apartment but nobody was there to let them in. A third group of friends called from yet another location. It was the perfect storm of 3 different plans all colliding in, what I have to say, was one of the best, most memorable, and definitely surprising to EVERYONE involved, birthday parties of my life.

Thank you bro. And thanks for the birthday wishes. Enjoy Ponce Vlog #4 SAPPY Birthday

Ponceman and Kassem G together at last

So, we, the Perry Brothers, Ponce and SAP, love to act. This is no secret. TV, Movies, Stage… whatever. We also have our YouTube channel and really like to act with other YouTubers that we dig. One such YouTuber is KassemG. He’s funny, Non-PC, and has a smaller penis than Ponce. These are all good things in our book.

Kassem’s Awkward Moments series makes us laugh and Ponce jumped at the chance to be in one. We put up our own little behind the scenes look at the video. We hope you guys dig watching these videos as much as we dug making them.

Enjoy!

Awkward Moments – The Taxes

Behind the Scenes with Ponce and KassemG

SAP’s Kitchen… what’s cookin’

Come see what's cookin'

Gimme lil’ bit o’ dat pepper, gimme lil’ bit o’ dat salt
Put ’em in the skillet and cook ’em, on dat stove I bought!

WHAHAH!

The above is a quote form the song “Skillet” by The Time. It’s too funky.

With the skillet in mind, we announce SAP’s Kitchen… a companion piece to the new Ponce Vlogs. Ponce will feature some dish SAP has cooked and you can click to get the full, step by step video so you can get some of that good cajun SAP cookin’ yo damn self. You can finally get to sample some of the food Ponce is always Twitpic-ing.

The first meal is Hominy Tim Curry, and it is yumaliciouslusy spicy.

We will also post the recipes here. That said, here’s the lowdown on…

HOMINY TIM CURRY

  • 1 white or yellow onion
  • 3 green chili peppers
  • 1 jalapeno
  • 3 celery stalks
  • 2 cups hominy
  • sesame seeds
  • sesame oil
  • bacon
  • Tony Cachere’s cajun seasoning
  • paprika
  • sage
  • red curry powder
  • yellow curry powder
  • soy milk

All SAP’s concoctions are season to your own taste. We like it spicy. You can use bell peppers, red, green, yellow, whatever, if the chilis and jalapenos are too much for your pallet. Also, skip the bacon or substitute it with tofu or more veggies, broccoli, cauliflower, if you want to go meatless. And any milk you dig will work, but if you go half and half you don’t need to use as much as you do with Soy or regular milk.