I just wanna say to everybody out there that it’s Christmas time and it means a lot to me. I love Christmas. I love presents. I love eating all the good food. And I love being together with my good family and we all get along. Me and bro are back in Louisiana our hometown Lafayette with the whole family and I love everyone.
I’m a lucky guy and I get all the ladies. I’m still a virgin but the ladies love me and they think I’m adorable and charming. I learned how to be charming from my father and my brother.
Father is a good man. The nicest man on the planet. He used to be an alcoholic but he’s cool now. That was a long time ago. He looks like Santa Claus now and he is Santa to me and everybody in the family. I love watching Sanford and Son with him because he reminds me of Fred. And I’m Lamont. And Mama is Esther. I love that show and sometime I watch it with father and we laugh so hard till we shit our pants. That’s a good laugh to have.
And I love my mama. I used to suckle her teets. And she took care of me when the doctor told her I should be put in an institution because I have Down Syndrome. That doctor can kiss my ass. He said I wouldn’t be worth anything to society but he was wrong and now he’s dead. So I win. Ponce FTW. And my mama never gave up on me and now I am getting smarter everyday. And my mama always looks out for me.
Mema my grandmother is a really cool lady. She was in my Retarded Policeman episode called GILF and she was hilarious in it. Love my Mema. She makes me laugh and it’s good to get along with her ‘cause Mema’s awesome. She always took me to breakfast a lot when I was growing up and I love that. We would eat at Mel’s Diner and I always had steak and eggs there and coffee and she had good black coffee and English muffin. That’s some good Mema memories.
Then there’s Stah. I love my sistah. She’s like a mama to me, and she also buys me good stuff too. She’s pregnant, and I’m happy about that. It’s a girl! And her name’s gonna be Mya, pronounced My-uhh. Kinda retarded, the name, but I will love that baby. Can’t wait till it comes out, and I hope she’ll be cool and I hope to get along with her too, like I do with Kaylyn and Rain my nieces. And I will tickle Mya’s armpits when she gets bigger. And I hope she’ll like it when I blow on her belly and make a Zerbert. It’ll tickle her and she’ll laugh. I love my Stah so much, no matter what, she’ll always be the best Stah. She’s cool like Molly Shannon from the movie Super Star– but Stah’s movie would be called SUPA STAH! And she’d put her hands in her armpits and smell it and put her arms up and say “I’m Supa Stah! And I will kick everyone’s ass if they fuck with me!”
My bro-in-law is married to Stah. He’s a cool guy and we all love him. He’s the first guy Stah’s in love with that we all like. And he makes us laugh- he looks like Ashton Kutcher. Everytime I see him I say “you just got PUNK’D motha fucka!” I love that show, but I love my bro-in-law more, he’s a cool guy. And he’s new to our family, so he’s a Perry now! I’m sure he loves that. His last name is Richard (pronounced Ree-shard). I always say to him he’s a Richard of a Retard!
Kaylyn, my niece, is Stah’s daughter. I wrote a good poem about her called ‘Kaylyn, My Niece’ and made it into a video, so click it to watch. I love my Kaylyn so much. She makes me laugh, and I tickle her armpits. It drives her crazy. She’s a cheerleader. I watched her cheer the other night and I thought she was awesome! I wish I could be a cheerleader like that. She also plays piano, she’s really good at it too. She also has a youtube series called Bipolar Sally. She’s crazy. Click on that too! It’s really hilarious. My favorite one is “jumping on the bed!” My other favorite is a prank call. I love my Kaylyn, and she’s also pretty. She’s gettin’ so big like an adult!
And Rain (Rainderrr) is here for the first time and I am really happy about that. She flew out here from California to spend Christmas with us. I can’t wait to have some good potatoes that she’s gonna cook us- She calls them ‘Rain’s Amazing Potatoes’ and I hope it’s gonna be amazing. I haven’t seen her since the summer, and we had coffee at Psychobabble with Dirty Jenny and Teresa. I love my Rain so much. She makes me happy and I will always love her even when I tickle her armpits cuz I know it drives her crazy – but she loves it! I’m just an armpit guy. After Christmas, bro and Rain and I are flying back to California to hang out with her two mamas, Michelle and Veronika. I’m very excited. I can’t wait to take them all to Yogurtland and Pho-21.
And then there’s bro. He makes me laugh. Sometimes we fight but we fight like brothers. He’s concerned about me a lot and protects me. I think he’s a cool guy. He’s the best bro ever. We are the best. We will always be brothers like Rain Man and Twins. I love my bro forever and ever and he helps me keep all my stuff neat and buys me cool clothes and DVDs and I’m happy about that. And we write some very good TV shows and movies and videos together a good team we are. And he also told me to go dance with some hot ladies the other night at the bar and I did and I got a smooch from the really sexy one. So anyway, that’s what I have to say about my bro. xoxo
Our family had some hard times and we still do but we always get through all the bad stuff and stay together forever.
If you ever have a bad time with your family don’t ever give up on them. Everybody can change even if they are old or young or whatever. And Christmas is a good time of the year for family. Christmas is the spirit and it only happens every year. So can‘t wait for new years.
So here’s Christmas is the Spirit the song I wrote with bro. I wrote most of the lyrics and bro helped and he wrote the music and then Dirty Jenny played guitar on it. Bro plays the other instruments and my sweet Quernzy sings it. I almost fell asleep when we made this video because I was being a lazy bum and didn’t get too much sleep that night before so I almost blew it. But I finally did it and did a funny jolly good elf.Vodpod videos no longer available.
Perry Christmas everybody.
Rock on – Ponce